The Send Off

THE SETTING:

My workplace; the inner city office of a large corporation, chock full of dead eyed, middle aged suburbanites, spinning their wheels while they wait for something interesting to happen.

CAST OF CHARACTERS:

Three colleagues of mine, who sit in my immediate vicinity:

 - CATHY: Thirties, portly, talks incessantly, addicted to reality TV and internet dating.

 - JEN: Early twenties, hyperactive, very into her job, addicted to reality TV and junk food.

 - EMMA: Mid twenties, slim, recently preggers, plays with her iPhone all day.

THE SCENARIO

A conversation I overheard this morning between the three of them, as I fiddled with my email settings, discussing the Labor leadership drama of the night before.

CATHY: Did you watch House Rules last night?

JEN: Yeah. But, I mean, really.

CATHY: What?

JEN: Well it was interrupted because of that business in Canberra.

(General groans from several people nearby).

CATHY: Oh my God. I couldn’t believe that.

EMMA: I don’t want to talk about politics.

JEN: They stopped the show right in the middle and switched to some press conference.

CATHY: I was so annoyed!

JEN: I was just sitting there going, ‘Julia, get the hell off the TV!’

CATHY: I know.

JEN: ‘I don’t want to watch this!’

CATHY: I know.

JEN: Aargh!

CATHY: I know it’s meant to be important or big news or whatever. But… really?

JEN: I want to watch House Rules! I need to know what’s happening.

CATHY: Yeah!

JEN: But I can’t understand why they’d go back to the other bloke anyway.

CATHY: Rudd?

JEN: Yeah. Why would they go back to him now?

EMMA: I really couldn’t care less. They’re both terrible.

CATHY: Well, I think Julia hasn’t been going too well.

EMMA: No one likes her.

CATHY: And they were worried about losing, I guess.

JEN: But it just seems… weird. To go back to someone that they got rid of before. Why not just stick with him in the first place?

CATHY: Yeah. I don’t really understand it either.

EMMA: I don’t like him either. I think he’s creepy.

JEN: Or just stick with her, since they got rid of him.

EMMA: I really hate the whole thing. I’m just sick of hearing about it.

JEN: Yeah, I know.

EMMA: I hate politics!

JEN: It doesn’t even make any difference who the Prime Minister is.

CATHY: Yeah.

JEN: I mean, who cares? I just… I hate hearing about it.

CATHY: Me too. I’m sick of it already.

JEN: It makes no difference, just get it away from me!

EMMA: They’re all the same.

CATHY: Well, at least Rudd is in favour of same sex marriage.

(General murmurs of agreement)

JEN: But I don’t understand how anyone could be against that.

CATHY: That’s right.

JEN: It’s just… how does it affect anyone else? If people want to get married then… just let them.

EMMA: Yeah. It’s no one else’s business.

CATHY: It seems like a weird thing to be against.

JEN: Yeah. I just don’t understand why you’d be opposed to it. Like, I’ve never really heard a reason to be against it.

EMMA: Why would you want to stop people getting married?

CATHY: Yeah, I don’t know either. But you know that Abbott is against it?

JEN: Yeah.

CATHY: That’ll never change if he gets elected.

JEN: Yeah. And he probably will win.

CATHY: Yeah.

JEN: Anyway, who cares.

CATHY: Yeah.

EMMA: I don’t want to talk about politics!

CATHY: Well anyway, you know that House Rules came back on after the Gillard thing?

JEN: Oh yeah! I nearly turned it off it dragged on so long. But yeah, it came back on.

CATHY: I was so happy!